During the RT convention in May, I was lucky enough to meet Marieke Nijkamp, one of the co-founders of the wonderful blog DiversifYA. The blog has an interview series where they invite authors to talk about their own diversity whether that’s sexual orientation, race, disability, or anything else. She asked me to answer questions about what it was like growing up on the asexual spectrum and I was thrilled. So thrilled that I may have gone a little verbose when answering the questions!

Below is a short excerpt from the interview, but you can read the whole thing on DiversifYA.

1. How do you identify yourself?

Since I didn’t discover the term “asexual” in the context of a potential human orientation until last year (I was 29 and already divorced), I’m still figuring out my precise classification. For now, however, I think heteromantic graysexual is close. Both sides of that label set are subject to change if necessary, though.

2. What did it feel like growing up asexual?

You know that feeling when you’re hanging out with a group of people who have known each other for ages and they’re all really nice and everything but they keep referencing people you don’t know, places you haven’t been, and inside jokes you don’t get?

Yeah, that’s what growing up asexual is like. Especially when you don’t know that asexual is an orientation option and so you can’t ever quite put your finger on why you’re ever so slightly on the outside of most groups.