As a writer, you must have a relationship with grammar, even if it’s a dysfunctional one. For example, my childhood.

Placed in the “gifted” program in second grade, I was always expected to do well in school. For the most part, I conformed to these expectations, but not always. Multiplication escaped me entirely for three years. Geography I found insanely boring and thus failed miserably in my ability to remember the locations and capitals of all fifty states. The most inexplicable failure on the part of my brain, however, was my horrendous spelling and poor grasp of grammar laws.

Somehow, I had an innate understanding of proper grammar and normally used words and phrases correctly, yet despite a reading level years above my actual age, I sucked at picking out the parts of a sentence and–as my mother used to say–“couldn’t spell my way out of a paper bag”. That usage has always confused me as I can’t understand how spelling something correctly would help me escape a paper bag, but I digress… The actual point is grammar and structure and spelling were never interests of mine, but stories have always been my first love. So here I am years later attempting to make a career out of storytelling and using the very rules and guidelines I never bothered trying to understand in school. At least I know I’m not alone in this struggle.

Grammar is fluid, its rules and structure changing with a language that evolves every day. New words and newly acceptable usages are appearing every day. Although some seem to point to the future decline of our ability to communicate clearly (idk jk ltftw!) others are simply loosening of archaic structures that now mimic more clearly the way we use language in everyday conversation. Some of these more mutable topic are taught as rules when they’re actually guidelines–or just plain wrong. Online College has a post covering the 20 Most Controversial Rules in the Grammar World and Lists o’ Plenty has a List o’ Top Ten Commonly Believed English Grammar Myths. Some of the “rules” are repeated on both pages, but it’s an interesting read nonetheless for writers or grammarians.

In essence, grammar rules, like Legos, are building blocks. Read the instructions, know how the pieces fit together, and then use them to suit you. Not everyone will follow every rule and not everyone needs to. Sometimes the most interesting, innovative stories come from breaking the “laws” of grammar. And who knows, the “rule” you follow by rote today may just be a suggestion tomorrow.